happy year of the...

That's right doglovers, this is my shout out to you.

Not having been a believer in horoscopes, especially since the Chinese zodiac insists that everyone born in the same year has the same freaking fortune, you can imagine my surprise when after reading my horoscope online, I admittedly felt, well, sort of inspired by the message. Right before I felt grossly ashamed for reading it in the first place. But I felt as if it was speaking to me, just me. Stuff like "Your happiness is before you, not behind you." Okay, run of the mill cheese. But then there was the most inspirational: "There will even be a positive change in the career". Hurrah! Does this not veritably guarantee that I'm finishing my dissertation soon? Would it be unwise to print this out and attach it to the cover letter of all my job applications? This surely can't be the same for everyone out there can it?

I figure that writing a horoscope must be pretty formulaic. As long as there are sweeping generalities combined with some choice inspirational mantras. So here is my attempt at a "Year of the Dog" horoscope for you all:

The year of the dog is all about you.
This year you will make some new friends.
And get closer to old ones.
And grow apart from some of them too.
Reflect upon your present blessings
not on your past misfortunes.
Because the Dow Jones will go up. And it will go down.
If you have a kid, it will grow bigger
eventually to hate you.
When your phone rings, someone will be at the
other end of the line, wanting to talk to you.
And remember, beyond all else, as Einstein once said,
"The difference between genius and stupidity is
that genius has its limits."

Unsettling is it not? Like an eye piercing the depths of your heart?
(Let's thank my friend Leo for the adorable photo. Taken in Seoul on a Nikon 90. Click on photo for unflinching detail.)

P.S. Yet another important mystery solved.