Saturday, October 22, 2005

the tweedle olsens

This was bound to happen to me sooner or later. And even as I'm writing this, I'm thinking, egads, why the fuck am I even writing about them. I'm sort of digusted at myself for knowing who they are. But it's as you suspected, I had a run in with the Olsen twins in the Marni store on Melrose today. Not that it was all that exciting but I just want to confirm any suspicion you may have that yes, they are as absurd as they are portrayed in the media, and no, they are not cute, nor sweet, nor undeserving of any public disdain. They deserve it all. The two of them, the anorexic one dressed in the usual getup of wooly blanket-coat and oversized bug-eyed sunglasses (bearing, might I add, an uncanny resemblance to a skeskis from The Dark Crystal) and the other one quite pretty and looking surprisingly nothing like the anorexic one's twin, proceeded to monopolize the only two dressing rooms in the store for over half an hour, leaving me and the other two customers to either wait or try on clothes in the storage room, as the staff apologetically told us. I elected to just try a dress on over my clothes rather than wait. In the process I had to listen to this retarded exchange:

Tweedle Mary-Kate: "God, I sooo like need socks. Last night I was out and I really wished I had socks."
Tweedle Ashley: "Yeah, like socks are really important."
Tweedle Mary-Kate: "Totally. I like looooooove socks."
Tweedle Ashley: "Yeah socks are so cool."

It's true. I'm not making this up. Then they proceeded to smoke cigarettes outside, ask the staff for diet Cokes, and then go into deep analytical debate over whether they should buy the black matte tights or the grey ones.

What was truly remarkable about this event was that I managed to make it out of the store without impaling myself with one of the gleaming lucite hangers or bashing my head against the display case. I left physically intact but spiritually enervated. Now I must go cleanse myself. (And no I did not take this picture.)


unclefucka said...

Powiadasz że wyglądają jak anorektyczki..... No cóz chyba nie spodziewałeś się zapaśników sumo :-/

cesareborgia said...

ooh you said fuck

jt castleton said...

everyone's gotta say something about the olsens on their blog. hell, i fell prey to it.

Montag said...

" uncanny resemblance to a skeksis..."

Heheh. That's extra funny 'cause I always thought the pretty one looked somewhat like a Gelfling.

Of course, I also always thought Nelson looked like a couple of Mystics. (I'm probably just jealous though.)

minsuhson said...

hahaha. the gelfling resemblance didn't occur to me but you're so right...

makes you want to see the movie again, no?