Thursday, September 29, 2005

a burning ring of fire


I came home this evening, wiped out after watching the Sox eke out a major win against the Blue Jays, only to be a little peeved that the neighbors were throwing a bigass bbq without inviting me to the festivities. As if I'm not the most perfect bbq guest ever. Not only do I delight in all things grilled and all things meaty, but put those two together, grilled and meaty, and combine that with a crucial Red Sox victory, and you have one very exuberant and giddy party guest. At that point I don't even need any liquor in me. But of course, I was wrong. It was no bigass bbq, but rather, the smell of smoke was from the fire burning in Topanga Canyon a good ways north of here. LA has now both literally and figuratively sunk to the depths of hell. According to the experts, today was the hottest day of the year here so far, which means absolutely nothing in a city that rarely rises above 90 and rarely dips below 50 degrees. But indeed it was hot, in no small part due to the wildfires which has covered LA in a plume of smoke visible by satellite. As I am devoted to the idea of a glass half full, I will point out just a few positive aspects of this otherwise catastrophic event in which LA might be burned off the face of the earth.

One. High speed car chases no longer dominate the local news. Instead the news has become unseemingly informative. I now know how to evacuate horses, domesticated animals, and lest I forget, human beings. So I've begun my own mental list of emergency evacuation necessities: Bruce Lee film collection (check), Bruce Lee T-shirts (check), Bruce Lee posters and other movie memorabilia (check), and of course, my all time favorite Bruce Lee item ever, my anatomically correct and jointed Bruce Lee figurine with moveable numchucks (check check check!). That should come in super handy if I need to spend endless hours evacuated at the Angels stadium with no one for company.

Uh two. Fires are cool. Have you ever sat by a campfire, mesmerized by the flames? Well, multiply that a thousandfold and you have serious entertainment.

Three. Finally, a fire big enough to bbq the giant squid discovered yesterday (see post). Yes! My chopsticks are poised for action.

Now that we can all rest better, let us head tomorrow to the bars and raise our glasses and hope that either the fire continues to burn uncontrollably or that the Red Sox can manage to take it to the next level, restore peace and harmony in the world, reset the yin and the yang, and kick major New York ass down down down, to hell in a handbasket.

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