Tuesday, August 30, 2005

frack you and frack the fracking starship you rode in on!

"I hate Grace Park, man. She's a cylon whore."
"A cylon whore?"

Now really. Them be fighting words.

I was rendered speechless when I heard this earlier today. This is clearly just a symptom of the gaping gender divide. Ever since the new Battlestar Galactica series first began, I have been absolutely smitten with Grace Park, an inspired choice to replace the big black dude that first played Boomer on the original show. I reveled in her unassuming Korean-American beauty, typical enough that she might have been discovered while eating soondubu chigae at the Galleria Mall in Koreatown. I liked her lithe and feminine physique that belies a steely cylon interior. She gives delusional people like myself the hope that anyone can kick major galactic ass given the right outfit and a laser gun. I even love that she kind of sucks at acting. It pulls at my heartstrings. Now despite all this, I admit Grace Park is bad. She's a cylon for chrissakes. But is she a whore? Uh, hello. It takes two to frack. And since when does sleeping with two different men constitute whoring? What we're really talking about here is not whether a cylon should have multiple sex partners, but whether a female can sleep around and also hold the ultimate survival of the human race in her hands. Clearly this is a fact that may be hard for some guys to swallow. But for most women, who are used to swallowing much worse, they should rejoice in this new dietary alternative to the feeble-minded Manolo-obsessed women of Sex in the City, or the gardener-obsessed Desperate Housewives where instead, women can wield an unabashed sexuality and power without having to come in the form of Xena, warrior princess. (Who by the way is making an appearance on the next episode. Coincidence?) Comments like this make me afraid that we may be turning back to the same culture of male fear that once gave birth to ideas of "vaginal dentata" or the "succubus". So let's step back for a second and try to appreciate what the writers at BSG are trying to do here, which I think is to introduce a new order of things, maybe a new feminism, where it's okay for a woman to bury her head into the buff arms of her starpilot lover after unloading six rounds of cosmic ammo into an ill-fated enemy. So say we all.


Montag said...

There are other examples:
Dark Angel, where it's okay for a woman to bury her head into the buff arms of her wheel-chair-bound-guerilla-journalist lover after opening her genetically-modified- martial-arts-trained-can-of-whoop-ass on an ill-fated enemy.

Mimic, where it's okay for a woman to bury her head into the buff arms of her Center-for-Disease-Control-officer husband after wiping out an entire subway-dwelling-hive of people-sized-cockroaches.

Even Independence day, where it's okay for a secondary-stripper-character to bury her head into the buff arms of her military-fighter-pilot lover after comandeering a dump truck and transporting a group of survivors to safety through the carnage of a violent alien invasion.

Yes, there's nothing like a strong woman kicking some science-fictional ass. Even sweeter when she still values the embrace of her lover's buff arms when the action dies down.

minsuhson said...

wow, you're like an expert on this. though i don't know if it's something you want to put on your cv.

so are you speaking from personal experience?

about burying yourself in the embrace of your lover's buff arms i mean...

Montag said...

No, I'm just a fan of smart strong beautiful ass-kicking heroines. Better than Barbie or Bratz for my daughter to emulate. (Not that she yet watches R-rated sci-fi at her tender age.) She must first learn the ways of PG-rated heroines like Princess Leia and Elastigirl.

I dare say I do possess two of the most buff arms ever devised, though.

jamie said...

look. you are seriously missing the point here, min suh. she's not a cylon _slut_. she's a cylon WHORE. a WHORE. the entire point of her existence is to fuck her way into the brains of poor unsuspecting human men so that she can more easily do the bidding of her cylon masters and plant bombs, try to assasinate their esteemed military leaders, and steal their sperm. whore. whore whore whore. it's not to say that she's not totally fucking hot. and that i wouldn't have her myself. but that doesn't change the fact. lets call a whore a whore.

minsuhson said...

"the entire point of her existence is to fuck her way into the brains of poor unsuspecting human men"

wait you make that sound like that's a bad thing. that describes me and most of the women that i currently know. and i dare say the entire female gender. does that alone make us bad? or just bad to the poor unsuspecting men of the world? i still challenge the idea that this characteristic makes a woman (or cylon) a whore.

i think you're just mad. mad that you want to fuck a cylon and know that that will never happen in your wildest dreams. you may have a fleeting chance with boomer who clearly goes for good looking white guys with hearts as soft as mudpies but you know number six likes short men and would never git wid you.

again, in the end it's just one of those unbearable situations where women/cylonwhores are in control of man's ultimate destiny. be afraid jamie be very very afraid. they/we prey on the weak.