rain rain go away

Woke up this morning to rain pounding on the windows, a thunderstorm the likes of which rarely occurs out here. I dreamt that they were wet frogs violently throwing themselves against the windows since I forgot what rain sounds like. It turns out that it hasn't rained in Los Angeles since March 9th of this year, over seven long months ago. When it rains, a couple of things happen. One, people who drive cars crash into each other. This is because of low visibility. Not because it rains so hard that visibility is impaired but because people don't know how to operate their window wipers. Angeleans have yet to master turn signals so you can imagine the challenges presented by wipers. Second, the city is almost paralyzed by rampant traffic light failure. This makes more people crash into each other. Sometimes they even crash into traffic poles which begins the whole sick process all over again in a repetitive cycle of destruction. Because there are so many traffic accidents on a rainy day, it's a good idea not to venture outside. Of course this could only be attempted if you are a graduate student without a care in the world. It is an excellent time to catch up on reading or watching high quality cable TV shows like this:

Coolest most awesome videos! Man in emergency room; Japanese men in the mud; child in sewer hole; out-of-control woman on amusement park ride.

Take note that one Japanese man alone is not what makes this compelling TV but that is "men" plural. And is the woman out-of-control or is it the amusement park ride? Not only does this program offer almost too much excitement packed into a single show, especially for a rainy day, but it also boggles the mind how such a complex medley of topics can be weaved together into a coherent half hour. This artistry is something that is best left up to the professionals. Since most of these very professionals live in LA, I worry now that they are out there crashing into other cars, into traffic poles, and leaving people like me with nothing to watch on the next rainy day. Will the devastation never end? Who knew that rainfall could create so much chaos in the universe. Let's hope that harmony is quickly restored and that it doesn't rain out here for another seven months or children around the world may never be discovered in their sewer holes and women will spin uncontrollably in perpetuum on amusement park rides.